Tipsy Hipster

from Songs in the Key of F! by Erich with an H

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Everyone remembers the last movie they saw in the theater before the pandemic. Mine was a 70mm showing of the Schwarzenegger classic "Last Action Hero" at the storied Music Box Theater in downtown Chicago. It was a miserable experience. Turns out, hip urban youths aren’t interested in appreciating movies made before they were born so much as they are eager to laugh at things that aren’t meant to be funny. We had a particularly choice duo seated directly behind us. Liquored up and too cool for school, they would have ruined the night if they hadn’t accidentally inspired me to write this song. Joke’s on them.

lyrics

Tipsy hipster sitting right behind me
What’s so goshdarn funny?
It’s a comedy but not in every scene

Bought my ticket to the movie
And I paid with real money
Guess I get the constant chitter-chatter free

Now I know you think you’re better
Than the film we came together
On the first night of the festival to see

Tipsy hipster, what you think you’re doing?
Tipsy hipster, where’d you think you are?
Maybe next time stay at home and
Hate-watch TikTok on your phone
Cause it’s a theater here
Not a bar
And we all know
Just how cool you are

Are you that surprised by ‘90s styles
You can’t believe your bloodshot eyes
And giggle through a cloud of pricey gin?

If you thought that was a whisper
Bet you think your parents don’t suspect
You use their Netflix password to log in

Now the running commentary’s
Got me feeling kinda wary
About going to the theater again

Tipsy hipster, you should just get going
Tipsy hipster, why’d you have to be
In the seat that’s right behind me
Now I’m losing my mind
Caught between you and the film I came to see
Tipsy hipster. Didn’t plan on you
And you sure don’t care about me

credits

from Songs in the Key of F!, released March 5, 2021

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