1. |
FTM86
03:16
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Once three years from now
I told you all the tale
About the only Twitter movie festivale
That's called F This Movie Fest
Now it's back again
With half a dozen flicks
And we're all tweeting like it's 1986
In this year's F This Movie Fest
Cue up the films and then
Don't hit play until we tell you when
And to answer your question
Heck yeah we know what we're doing
Yeah yeah yeah
Solve the Labyrinth
And find Big Trouble in
Martians have landed and
Freaked out poor Cameron
But wait, there's more F This Movie Fest
Sextuple feature ends
With heavy action sounds
Sly and Sigourney fire off
Several hundred rounds
To wrap up F This Movie Fest
Come tweet along with us
Hop on the all-day movie magic bus
Please save your questions
'Til the end, we know what we're doing
Yeah yeah yeah
It doesn't have to end
I bet you made one hundred million friends
And there's no more question
You know we know what we're doing
Movie lovers all
Heed the siren call
Join our festival
F This Movie Fest
(yeah yeah yeah)
F This Movie Fest
(yeah yeah yeah)
F This Movie Fest
(yeah yeah yeah yeah)
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2. |
88
04:24
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88 seats at 8:15
Pointing at the silver screen
Taking in the show
Everybody wanting to go
88 miles per hour, though
Time goes fast and we get older
Thinking back
On everything we’ve lost
We’re all alone
Sitting in our homes
Writing notes like rock ‘n’ roll
Thrown into the sea and
Going with the flow
88 keys to play the blues
Kicking off a thousand shoes
Clicking play six times today
Suddenly it’s all okay
88 million tweets to read
Looking at our little screens
All around the world we gather
There’s nowhere that we would rather be
Than all together
Watching movies, knowing
Some things last forever
One year ago
We didn’t know
Where we’d be today
But days are getting longer
We are getting stronger
It’ll be okay
88 bullets from a gun
88 rabbits on the run
88 punches in a row
88 Deetzes singing Day-O
88 floors in Nakatomi
88 acorns turn ya stony
88 new friends having fun
88 pizzas we all eat as one
33 times around the sun
Flip the number, slap it on and
You get 88, which is the year
We’re celebrating at
F This Movie Fest in 2021
F This Movie Fest in ‘21
F This Movie Fest in ‘21
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3. |
She's Tall
02:34
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She's tall but she don't play basketball
But there's all kinds of things that she does well
She runs fast as a car
She can fly to the stars
And there's no word in English she can't spell
And if you add up all the things that make her special
Put 'em in a spreadsheet on a Mac
You would have a document so monumental
There's no way to sort the data that'll tell me if she's coming back
Now, I see her on my TV screen
Basking in her well-earned accolades
And I cheer with the crowd
I yell twice as loud
As tears I can't control run down my face
We don't have to talk about the ways she's special
After all this time it's understood
Everyday she lives up to her vast potential
Please believe me when I tell you I'd vote for her ten times if I could
She's tall but she don't play basketball
But there's all kinds of things that she does well
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4. |
F This Movie Fest ('89)
05:28
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Picked up my phone and scrolled through all the latest tweets
Checking to see what's going on
Noticed a hashtag that was blowing up my feed
I gotta say, it sounded fun:
Watching films from ‘89
With all my favorite folks online
A Twitter festival with friends around the globe
No fancy evening wear required
In a t-shirt, fuzzy sweatpants, and a robe
You'll be appropriat’ly attired
Kick back and put up your feet
Cause all you need to do is tweet
Singing, la la la la la!
F This Movie Fest!
La la la la la!
Feeling hashtag blessed
To be part of the best
Community of lovers of the silver screen
Don’t change the channel. Our first film is UHF
Full of Weird Al gags and songs
Drink from the fire hose, spin the wheel of fish
Then we’ll dine on Twinkie dogs
Will George and Stanley save the day?
And how much polka will he play?
Singing, la la la la la!
F This Movie Fest!
La la la la la!
Feeling hashtag blessed
To be part of the best
Community of lovers of the silver screen
And now here’s Tango & Cash
Two cops who acted rashly
But they got results and found Jack Palance’s stash
Of drugs and guns. Then he finds
A way to put them behind bars
Did I mention it stars Kurt Russell and Sly Stallone?
Meanwhile, over in The ‘Burbs, a mystery
Wherein Tom Hanks comes to suspect
His wacky neighbors aren’t quite what they appear
You just might laugh yourself to death
Don’t go in the house alone
To dig up Dante’s funny bone
Singing, la la la la la!
F This Movie Fest!
La la la la la!
Feeling hashtag blessed
To be part of the best
Community of lovers of the silver screen
After dinner, Patrick Swayze will appear
In the Road House, looking buff
He’s got no problem if you want to grab a beer
But pick a fight and he'll get tough
Might grab your throat and rip it out
Like Crow T. Robot sang about
Day turns into night. Now Batman’s on the prowl
In his stiff black rubber suit
It's Michael Keaton hiding underneath the cowl
Prince’s soundtrack is a hoot
Joker’s got the crazy eyes
Spoiler: in the end, he dies
Singing, la la la la la!
F This Movie Fest!
La la la la la!
Feeling hashtag blessed
To be part of the best
Community of lovers of the silver screen
La la la la la!
F This Movie Fest!
La la la la!
F This Movie Fest!
La la la la!
F This Movie Fest!
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5. |
You've Changed
03:25
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I know you
I want to
Know that you recognize me too
Your eyes hide behind
That mask you wear
Hidden under all that hair
The shadow cast by your reflection
Is pointed right in my direction
And those new bangs
Go nicely with your fangs
I never noticed them before
You've changed with the season
You've changed
And I've no reason to be afraid
But you've changed
Your tattered jean jacket
I last saw you wear
About an hour ago
At a party in the square
You looked up at the harvest moon
Ran off into the night.
Didn't expect to see you quite so soon
You gave me such a fright
You've changed with the season
You've changed
And I've no reason to be afraid
But you've changed
Yeah you've changed
I know it's just a phase
But you've changed
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6. |
Back in 1990
04:12
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Thirty years ago
Things were so much easier
A world in love brought down the Berlin Wall
And all the movies that we saw
Were somehow better when
We saw them at the mall
Turtle shells shone twice as bright
Graboids grabbed us in the night
Ponytails swung high and mighty
Everything was all right
Now we live in fear
It’s getting hot in here
The end is drawing near
Before we disintegrate
Turn back the clock and celebrate
The films of yesteryear
F this Movie Fest is just the best
I bet you’d all agree
Back in 1990
I was just a kid
Now I’m a grown up
With a Twitter feed
That I’m keeping just to read
What everybody tweets this year
On this day we gather here
A movie-loving fan community
Oh and F This Movie Fest is all I need
When ninjas ruled the world
Schwarzenegger’s bicep curled
Al Pacino joined the Oscar race
Monsters subterranean
Steve Seagal posed with a gun
And Neeson grew a nose to spite his face
Everyone is welcome
So bring your friends
To the Twitter movie festival
You wish would never end
F this Movie Fest is still the best
I bet you’d all agree
Back in 1990
I was just a kid
Now I’m a grown up
With a Twitter feed
That I’m keeping just to see
What makes us laugh until we cry
Which celebrities stop by
Can we get it trending higher
Than the latest dumpster fire?
F This Movie Fest is all I need
(Except for friends and family)
F This Movie Fest is all we need
(Except for DVDs and love and air to breathe)
F This Movie Fest is all we need
Movie love for movie lovers makes us family
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7. |
Tipsy Hipster
02:38
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Tipsy hipster sitting right behind me
What’s so goshdarn funny?
It’s a comedy but not in every scene
Bought my ticket to the movie
And I paid with real money
Guess I get the constant chitter-chatter free
Now I know you think you’re better
Than the film we came together
On the first night of the festival to see
Tipsy hipster, what you think you’re doing?
Tipsy hipster, where’d you think you are?
Maybe next time stay at home and
Hate-watch TikTok on your phone
Cause it’s a theater here
Not a bar
And we all know
Just how cool you are
Are you that surprised by ‘90s styles
You can’t believe your bloodshot eyes
And giggle through a cloud of pricey gin?
If you thought that was a whisper
Bet you think your parents don’t suspect
You use their Netflix password to log in
Now the running commentary’s
Got me feeling kinda wary
About going to the theater again
Tipsy hipster, you should just get going
Tipsy hipster, why’d you have to be
In the seat that’s right behind me
Now I’m losing my mind
Caught between you and the film I came to see
Tipsy hipster. Didn’t plan on you
And you sure don’t care about me
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8. |
That's the Twist!
04:56
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There is a man
Has a lot of money and
A greedy family who wants it all
They tried and tried to
Cash out before he’d died
So he devised an evil plan
To get rid of them all
Invites them for the weekend to his mansion on the hill
Promised every one of them that they could take their fill
Little did they know that in the bushes he would hide
They’d go in, he’d lock the door, and toss a match inside...
But there’s a twist, there’s a twist!
And the twist, you see, is this:
Just before his family arrived
They all died in a car crash
Twisted fire and ash, and now their
Vengeful ghosts break through the door
And drag the man inside!
And that’s the twist!
A hunting accident
Leaves one hiker dead
A panicked hunter in dismay
Go to the cops
Risk everything he’s got
Or cover up the crime
And drive away?
He picks up his victim and sets off into the trees
Plans to dump the body in a spot no one will see
Stomps across a clearing carpeted in fallen leaves
Stops to catch his breath and hears a sound that makes him freeze...
‘Cause there’s a twist, there’s a twist!
And the twist is simply this:
The clearing’s not what it appears
All those leaves, brushed away, reveal
A partly frozen lake
That can’t support the weight of both the hunter and his prey!
And that’s the twist!
Intermission!
Intermission!
Here's the twist:
There is no intermission!
A car breaks down
In a dusty town
The driver calling out for help
But no one’s there
The streets are bare
It's deadly quiet all around
Then the sound of buzzing
Rises sharply on the breeze
Followed by a massive swarm of angry killer bees
That chase the hapless stranger
Desperate for a hiding spot
Ducks into a dingy church
With windows boarded shut...
But there's a twist, there's a twist!
And the twist is finally this:
Although the bees are still outside
In the church
Something worse
A pocket universe
A portal through which
Monsters pour
Of every shape and size!
And that's the twist!
That's the twist!
That's the twist!
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9. |
My My (Pumpkin Pie)
03:34
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My my pumpkin pie
Come on
I want to be with you all alone
I know I want you tonight
I hear you say that it’s alright
And I want to be the one who stayed
My my, pumpkin pie
Come on
I dig your ingredients
I mix them all in a bowl
And then I lose all control
I want to eat you off a plate
It’s just me on the outside
Wanting you on the inside
Never wanna see you cry
Just wanna be with you
When you’re mine all mine
All mine
It’s just you on the outside
Cooling off on the inside
Never wanna see you cry
Just wanna be with you
When you’re mine all mine
All mine
All mine
All mine
My my pumpkin pie
My my pumpkin pie
My my pumpkin pie
All mine
All mine
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10. |
Horror Fans (Demo)
03:19
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Everybody knows
It’s that time of year
When we celebrate
All the scary movies
That we love
And boy do we love them
Gather round
In the flickering glow
Of the TV set
Where the DVDs
Are stacked
Like logs for the fire
What to watch?
Everyone has a different favorite
Don’t talk at once
We’ll get
To all of them ‘cause
Horror fans love everything
Every movie has its following
Everyone lets out a joyous scream
Those horror fans
Love everything
Monsters big and small
Ghosts and zombie creeps
Footage lost and found
Made on the cheap
We eat them up like candy
Have you seen
This obscure Italian flick
That’s banned in Spain
And long since out of print?
Horror fans love everything
Every movie has its following
Everyone lets out a joyous scream
Those horror fans
Love everything
And when they don’t
I scratch my head
Wonder what they’re looking for
Why hate BLOOD BUFFET PART 5
When you dug 1 through 4?
Horror fans love everything
Every movie has its following
Made with passion splattered on the screen
Those horror fans
Horror fans
Horror fans
Love everything
Everybody knows it’s that time of year
Everybody knows it’s that time of year
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11. |
Movie Lovers
02:59
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From the very first second he knew
Although he hadn’t met her
That in a couple of minutes their nights
Would both be getting better
Standing in line
Passing the time
Waiting to get a seat
To the next big movie from their favorite director
On a Thursday night screen
The theater was stacked
The place was packed
With other fans
The A/C was broken
It was so hot you could get a tan
No one cared
‘Cause they were there
For the magic on the screen
She and he both could see
From the very first scene
That they were gonna F this Movie
All night long and ever truly
A tender kiss of movie bliss
On eyelids open wide
In the dark
A silent spark
That tingles deep inside
The house lights came up to the sound of thunderous applause
Everybody looked around at each other just because
She grinned at him
He grinned back
And blushed a little bit
They met up in the lobby looking for a quiet place to sit
In the corner coffee shop
They unpacked the film they saw
All their favorite characters and scenes
All the things that made them laugh
Made them cry and made them gasp
Then they looked in each other's eyes
And knew that this could only mean
That they were gonna F this Movie
All night long and ever truly
Yeah they were gonna F this Movie
Again and again and again and again
And again and again and again
Again and again and again
And again and again and again
Again and again and again and again
At least 400 times
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